To everyone who thinks my kid is an asshole-
Since Joe turned two, I have endured numerous complaints about my child as well as my parenting. Family and friends felt completely entitled to give me medical and parenting advice, "if you would just make him listen", "he is too wild, you need to tell him no", "or "he needs medication". We knew that Joe was hyperactive, we did not need anyone to point that out, we lived with it daily. As Joe got older, people felt more entitled to give medical and parenting advice, but our pediatrician felt that he was within the normal range and development. When I asked the pediatrician if he could use a dose of ritalin, she just laughed and said "If he has trouble in school, we will explore it". Joe started preschool at three, and his teachers loved him. I would get glowing reports, and Joe couldn't wait to get to school. It was around this time that we noticed that Joe was starting to get migraines. His enuresis had improved, but still occurred a couple of times a week. Joe would frequently have night terrors, sleep walk, and grind his teeth. He would wake in the middle of the night with growing pains so severe that he would lay in bed screaming until the motrin kicked in. When Joe started kindergarten, he teacher loved him. She would write notes home about how he would make her laugh daily. As a mom, those notes felt good. Finally, someone was able to see what Joe had to offer. He really is a funny kid. In first grade, his migraines increased. His migraines were so severe, he would lay on the floor holding his head screaming, until the medicine would kick in. Sometimes, he would vomit, and/or fall asleep immediately following an attack. During this time, his hyperactivity increased. The idea of ADHD was broached by the school, so I requested a 504 plan. His teacher said that the first grade work was too easy, and suggested moving his curriculum and giving him a done folder for differentiated work. We also provided sensory strategies for Joe to access at school. Around this time, I took Joe back to the pediatrician to discuss the migraines and hyperactivity. I really felt that all of the symptoms such as the enuresis, migraines, sleepwalking, etc. were all connected. I did not feel that Joe had ADHD, but that something else was going on. The pediatrician agreed, and ran some preliminary tests on Joe, nothing. This led to a plethora of medical appointments and testing with doctors. We saw a psychologist, neurologist, pulmonologist, allergist, developmental pediatrician, ENT and the list goes on. All had the same diagnosis after talking with my son for 5 minutes, ADHD. I started a strict regimen of supplements to see if the gaba, htp, omega 3, probiotic, cocktail that I created made a difference, but no. I then purchased supplements such as focus-saurus, no luck either. The issue was not his focus as he was performing extremely high academically, but the hyperactivity and impulsively were ever present. The start of second grade started out well, but we were still struggling. Joe's anxiety was increasing as he heard all of these negative comments about him. He became extremely clingy, and bed time was a nightmare. Putting Joe to bed has always been difficult. We would take a bath, read, and then I would lay in bed with him until he fell asleep. This bedtime routine would sometimes last 2 hours, leaving both Joe and myself extremely frustrated. While lying in bed, Joe would not stop moving. He couldn't get comfortable. I dreaded bedtime. This was compounded by the fact that he still had enuresis, night terrors, growing pains, teeth grinding, and sleep walking. Since I heard Joe wake up in the night most often, I was usually the one dragging my overtired, caffeine fueled ass to work the next day. During this time, Joe's migraines increased significantly as did his behavioral issues. I continued to hear comments about how I needed to parent better, or at least get that kid on meds. In October of 2014, I removed Joe's tonsils to see if sleep apnea was the cause of his symptoms (once sleep apnea is addressed the symptoms of ADHD decrease significantly). After putting him through such a painful experience, I was dismayed that the surgery did not impact his ADHD symptoms, but was relieved that the surgeon and staff noticed sleep apnea issues during surgery. At least, it was not done in vain. In November 2014, parent teacher conferences were held. When I arrived, his teacher informed me that According to his teacher, Joe was performing significantly higher than all of the kids in her class. She followed this up with the dreaded words " but your child's behavior is impacting his learning and the learning of others. I would talk to the doctor about medication". When I got home, I was sobbing, devastated that they day I had hoped to prevent has arrived. I did not want to medicate my child, nor did I feel that he had ADHD. I had trouble coming to terms with the fact that no one appreciated Joe's gentle nature, his eagerness to please, his creativity, or his amazing sense if humor. He was labeled ADHD, and that us how he would be viewed from now on. I was frustrated because none of the doctors would listen to me. They had their minds made up as soon as we walked in, and would become very upset that I declined the adderall, concerta, or ritalin prescriptions that they had written out. I still felt like I was missing something regarding all of this, but I put my big girl educator panties on and marched into school and demanded an IEP. I would be damned if a teacher would tell me how to medically treat my child. Once calm, the staff was able to convince me that an updated 504 plan would be best. We updated the 504 plan to include very specific sensory activities and a differentiated curriculum to match his skills. The teacher immediately started him in a 4th grade curriculum, and the OT was in the next day to do a sensory diet. The behavior improved, but not enough. It was in December 2014 that I finally decided to go to a child psychiatrist, Dr. Gutierrez from Loyola. I explained that I did not feel that he had ADHD, but he has been showing signs of anxiety. We did a trial of zoloft, it was horrible. Next we trialed Strattera which is an SSRI. He became Linda Blair on steroids. I was just waiting for his head to spin. Finally, after or 3rd visit, Dr. G said, "I think the migraines, enuresus, night terrors, growing pains, sleep walking, teeth grinding may all be connected. OMFG! I felt like I hit the jackpot. Finally, someone gets it. She then said "I think he has restless leg syndrome". She them moved on to how rls symptoms appear in kids, and how we could address it. She suggested a half tablet of Topamax daily. This would address the migraines as well as help him sleep at night. 6 weeks later, Joe has gone from 4 migraines migraines a week, to one in the past month. Every day he is coming home excited that he reached to top level of the class behavior system. His teacher reports that all of his hyperactive behaviors have dissipated. Knowing what I know now, pediatric migraines often have symptoms 24-48 hours befor the onset, including hyperactivity. Researching RLS, I learned that it is usually genetic. When reading the symptoms, I knew Joe inherited it from me. I have issues sleeping. I take ambien nightly just so I can get comfortable enough to sleep. I had severe growing pains and migraines as as a kid. I. Still grind my teeth, and will sleep walk without the ambien. I cannot sit through a movie because I have this constant itch to move. Guess what, Joe is just like me. To all of the people who feel I should be a better parent, or set a sleep hygiene schedule, medicate my kid for a disorder he does not have, or feel the need to tell my kid he is unlovable, annoying, or any if the above, f*c you, you are the asshole, not my child with a neurological condition. On a side note, always trust your maternal instincts. They are there for for a reason.